Oh my! Do i feel a DRAFT?

Ahoy, gentlemen. Today, the "press" has reported on encouraging developments on the manliness front! The Secretary for Veterans Affairs has fired a man-shot across the bow of anti-American homoleftism by saying "society would benefit" from the reinstatement of the draft! They're even testing out the man-chinery of the draft to make sure it'll work good when the time comes to really rock out!

This news has sent my patriotestosterone roaring down the Manley Highway at the speed of Right. The draft is precisely what our sweet-ass nation needs. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm against liberal governmental intrusion into our lives when it comes to saving whales, lowering the amount of E. coli in our tap water, and teaching our schoolchildren how to smoke pot and penises. But conservative government coercion is to be lustfully embraced. When you're forced to fight a war to strengthen the authority of your leaders, you appreciate American Freedom all the more when/if you get home.

Regrettably, my excema would prevent me from serving, but then I'm more valuable to the war effort by blogging anyways. Just like when, during WWII, Ronald Reagan was instructed to assist the war effort by making monkey documentaries for Uncle Sam.

Of all the awesome things a draft would do, the most awesome thing of all would be that our pampered sissy celebrities would be made to fight for my freedom!


All kidding aside, the draft might be the key to America securing victory in the War On Christmas. It would be reckless NOT to implement it. Remember, Secular Claus knows when you're sleeping, and knows when you're awake.

Don't be caught sleeping.