Best. Country. Ever.

Patriotism, as defined in the dictionary, is probably the love and celebration of one's country because it is noble, powerful, awesome, and America.

This blog is dedicated to the notion that a vigorously patriotic culture is necessary to preserve America's status as the greatest country in the universe and the favorite nation of God and Jesus.

Now, it has been suggested that conspicuous displays of national glorification only serve to empower the ruling elite and bolster the egos of the vain and the modestly endowed with vicarious power. And you know who suggests such things? People who want to weaken America and destroy freedom, like Jacques Chirac, Jane Fonda, Osama bin Hussein, Adolf Hitler and Roger Ebert.


We red-statist cyber-Churchills are all about in-your-face-and-up-in-your-business patriotism - the kind of patriotism that distresses America's enemies. Liberal homos will sometimes tell you that respect for elitist concepts like "Constitutional rights" and "civil liberties" constitutes genuine patriotism. That notion deserves a big star-spangled LOL. Who's scared by that kind of limp-wristed patriotism? "Oooh, I support an illegal alien's Third Amendment right to snort marijuana off a gay spotted owl!" Yeah, that's really gonna make Kim Jong-Il quake in his turban.

I support forceful national pride. The sort of strident jingoism that puts hair on your chest and poop in your pants. My quest is a struggle for honor and virtue against the gathering jizz-storm of evildoing. Our society no longer cherishes the time-honored values of nationalism, manliness and jaw-jutting the way it once did. Secularists, feminists, multiculturalists and homosexual interior decorators have amassed at the border of the American psyche and won't rest until they have made us feel really, really bad about the traditional advantages we Anglo Christian hetero-men earned through fastidious bootstrap-pulling. By undoing our Bible Belt with subversive ironic quips, the cut-and-run Commissars seek to make us so demoralized that we get down on our knees, bend over and beckon the explosive blasts of the Islamocommies.

As a masculine patriot with an honor-engorged heart, it is my solemn duty to fight for my country. While some choose to do this by serving in the military, I've chosen to battle our enemies in the front lines of the Culture War by "manblogging" for the red, white and blue. Typing with one hand while holding my flag in the other, I blog to defend your freedom to obey the President.

To flutter your freedom putter, I will be collecting the most inspirational, soul-stirring patriotic imagery from around the web, enmancing (that's like enhancing, only more manful) them with Photoshop power when necessary. I truly believe that if General Patton were alive today, he'd be pwning our enemies with Photoshop instead of a musket and ninja stars.

Lest we get our Liberty Bell rung by the soft bigotry of low expectations, it falls upon us to advance the cause of national self-love. Only then will we successfully preserve and defend the ideals that our Founding Fathers may well have fought for.

Here in America, God regularly sheds his grace on all of us. My job is to gather up that grace and present it humbly unto you to remind you of our divine awesomeness. Nothing less than the fate of all Creation rests on your willingness to believe in American exceptionalism.

Come believe with me.